


Tug of Love

by nackledamia



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, jeffmads - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 18:55:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12659361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nackledamia/pseuds/nackledamia
Summary: Soulmate AU where when you first look into your soulmate’s eyes, your most vulnerable emotions become raw and exposed to them. Soulmates who have met become attuned to and influenced by each other’s emotions. They share all emotions; happiness, sadness, anger- because having a soulmate means to share all your innermost troubles with them.When Thomas met James, all his worries disappeared and everything was alright in the world. He was happy, he was loved; he had found his soulmate.James’ frown only deepened.





	Tug of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is me attempting to explore the extremes of this au where one person is very in touch with their emotions and the other isn't, and not doing a very good job because I'm tired but I just wanted to write something. I could do better if I wasn't rushing for time. I'm sorry.

Thomas Jefferson’s parents were business tycoons. When they were killed in a freak accident, 7-year-old Thomas found himself the owner of an international business with millions of dollars in his name.

Thomas didn’t know anything about the business world. Well, he knew a little bit. He knew his parents were important people and did important work and sometimes forgot that he existed. That was okay because he had his private tutor to play with him and tuck him in bed and console him with stories of meeting his soulmate one day. His soulmate that would never leave his side, that would go through thick and thin with him.

As per his parents’ prepared will, Thomas’ private tutor was replaced by a business consultant when they died. No more stories, no more games, no more fun.

Thomas was expected to run a business at 7 years old.

The business consultant had his parents’ approval to scold him; hit him if necessary. In hindsight, they probably were not expecting Thomas to be only 7 when he had to take over, but the business consultant spared him no thought.

He was Thomas Jefferson, owner of one of the largest companies in the world and he was expected to make decisions, earn money and control the economy.

Maybe it was because he wasn’t given time to mourn his parents’ death, or to have a childhood, or to grow up with other children. Thomas was thrown into the ruthless business world, full of manipulation, lies and throat-cutting decisions to make.

With the demanding business consultant always breathing down his neck, 7-year-old Thomas buried his hurt and loss deep inside him and covered it up with anger. He didn’t let the tears in his eyes spill. He submitted to the requirements of his new lifestyle.

He grew a sharp tongue because there was no place for niceties in the business world. He perfected the smirk because intimidation was an advantage in the workplace. He held his head high because he was Thomas Jefferson, business tycoon, and everyone was beneath him.

Honestly, college was such a burden. He could spend more time examining the stock market and investing in the most profitable industry. He could spend more time finding trends and having important meetings. Instead, he was here in this stupid lecture hall listening to an old professor drone on about things he already knew about, ‘studying’ for his degree in Economics.

There were people folding paper areoplanes and tossing them across the hall when the professor turned around. There were people playing meaningless games on their smartphones. Everyone was doing something other than listening to the lecture, which couldn’t be good for them, because they weren’t as smart as Thomas was. They actually needed to listen to this lecture to pass.

If people his age were so immature, perhaps it didn’t matter that he never had friends growing up.

As soon as the bell rang, Thomas was out of there. He had a potential business partner to call, a deal to offer. He had to check in with certain personnel and see if they were ready with their assignments. He had to-

_Crash!_

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the other guy muttered, bending down to pick up his spilt cup of coffee.

“You’re sorry?” Thomas pulled off his purple sweater and scowled at the dark brown stain, “Sorry doesn’t pay for the cleaning bill! Sorry doesn’t change the fact that you just ruined my favourite sweater!”

“Sorry,” the guy offered again.

Thomas looked up and set his jaw in displeasure. The man had his head hanging down. Thomas could make this insolent man feel completely worthless. It was a speech he frequently practised on himself. It was an effective speech.

“Hey, look at me in the eye and be sincere about it!” Thomas shouted, and the man raised his head to meet Thomas’ glare.

The words that settled at the tip of Thomas’ tongue faltered as he sank into the deep abyss of the man’s eyes.

_He was 7 again._

_“Mr Jefferson? I’m Joshua Evantes. I’ll be your business consultant until you’re old enough to make your own decisions.”_

_“Mr Jefferson is my daddy,” Thomas beamed, “I’m Thomas.”_

_“Well, now that your father is dead, you’re Mr Jefferson.”_

_“What?” Thomas’ smile shifted into a confused frown._

_“Your parents are dead, Mr Jefferson.”_

“I-” Thomas began and stopped, the sweater slipping between his fingers and falling to the ground. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes. He hadn’t felt this vulnerable in a long time. He had taught himself to block out all these emotions.

He hated feeling so helpless. He hated being so exposed. He hated being so weak.

The man wrapped him in a hug and Thomas closed his eyes, allowing himself a moment of mourning, the moment of closure he never had. He allowed himself to be vulnerable, safe in the man’s arms.

Immediately he felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off his chest. It wasn’t just the pain of his parents’ death that had been relieved. All his years of anger and resentment seemed to fade away.

Thomas opened his eyes a new man. He had no grudges. He had no burdens. He had no pain.

“Thank you,” Thomas breathed, looking up at the man as they stood apart.

This time, he took a good look at the man before him. He was almost a head shorter, wearing a turtleneck and jeans in the hot afternoon sun. Underneath his stoic expression, his eyes were soft. Caring. Worried for him.

Thomas trusted him immediately. He could be vulnerable and safe in his presence.

“Of course, we’re soulmates,” the man responded.

Soulmates. Of course. An emotional flashback must have hit the man too. You shared your emotions with your soulmate and they shared theirs with you. This was probably why he felt so much more carefree.

“Thomas,” Thomas reached out a hand.

“James,” the man shook his hand.

“Can I offer you money? Do you like money? Do you want money? Um, I only know things about money. H- how do people make friends?” Thomas stammered, finding himself inadequately prepared to meet his soulmate. Words had never failed him until this point in time.

“You can meet me here tomorrow, same time, and you can buy me a new cup of coffee,” James’ expression didn’t change, ever so emotionless, but his voice was soft and affectionate, almost teasing.

“O-okay,” Thomas managed to say, and James continued on his way.

Thomas felt his heart swell and an unfamiliar smile spread across his face.

He liked James.

\--------

Having a soulmate was amazing. Thomas had never felt so loved in his life.

Thomas didn’t know how to love. He had never experienced love. All he had was money, so he bought James lots of things to show his love. He got James new furniture for his single apartment. He got James a new car, then found out that James didn’t know how to drive. He gave James a credit card under his account and told him to spend as much as he wanted to.

Thomas was willing to splurge his millions in savings on the world for James, but James only used Thomas’ card to buy the occasional cup of coffee. James had said “you don’t need to spend so much money on me” but Thomas didn’t understand why. Finding James was priceless. He needed to reflect that somehow.

James showed Thomas how to feel again. Thomas had always been so cold to others, so separated from his emotions. James was like a therapist or something. With James, Thomas was learning how to take down the walls around himself. He could be vulnerable with James. He was safe with James.

This soulmate sharing emotions thing was really helping Thomas find himself again.

Everytime he had a bad day because an investment failed or a partner declined his business offer, Thomas would go to James. James would take his hand and all his worries, sadness and frustration would disappear. It was like magic. Thomas didn’t know how James did it but just being with James cheered him up.

James would teach him how to look at the problem from a different angle. How to find the positivity in a sea of negativity. How to clear his mind and find a solution beginning with a blank slate.

Smiling was beginning to be a familiar action around James.

\--------

It took Thomas a year to realise that James never returned his smile.

“Don’t you ever smile?” Thomas squeezed James’ hand as they sat on a bench in the park, idly watching the sunset.

James shrugged in response. He was never one for many words.

Thomas shifted to face him.

“Look at me, Jemmy,” Thomas told him, and James looked up at Thomas with the same unmoving facial expression.

Thomas smiled at James and James didn’t twitch a single facial muscle in response.

“Oh, are you like a mona lisa?” Thomas joked, “is your smile so tiny I have to look closely to find it?”

“Maybe,” James said quietly.

“Let me zoom in to examine,” Thomas told him and leaned forward to kiss him gently on the lips.

Thomas pulled away with a wide grin but James only blinked at him in response.

Thomas’ smile fell.

“Did I do something wrong? Did I make you angry?” Thomas asked, his words emerging in a flurry.

James squeezed his hand and Thomas found himself calming down, his worries evaporating.

“No, I love you, Thomas,” James assured.

“Then why won’t you smile?” Thomas sighed.

“I just don’t,” James shrugged.

Thomas searched his eyes for a hint of an untruth and saw a… heaviness he had never noticed before.

“Are you experiencing some troubles at home? I always complain about my life to you, Jemmy, you can do the same to me too,” Thomas said, gripping his hand tightly.

“No, no, I’m fine,” James assured again. Thomas was not getting anymore information out of him.

Thomas pulled James in a hug. He had never realised how tensed James was.

“We’re soulmates. You can tell me anything,” Thomas reminded him, almost desperately. James had done so much for him, showed him how to get in touch with his own emotions. He wasn’t good at reading subtle emotions but he really cared for James. He really did. If he wasn’t able to show it or read it, he’d just have to say it.

“I know,” was all James said in response.

“I love you, Jemmy,” Thomas whispered.

“I love you too, Thomas,” James replied.

The tension in his body never left, despite Thomas holding him in a hug for a long time.

\-------

The stupid business could kiss his ass.

His business consultant had reprimanded Thomas about how his productivity levels had gone down. How his attention was drifting and how he was not focusing on the well being of the company anymore.

Well, yeah, he had better things to focus on, to worry about. Like James. He didn’t know what the problem was and James was obviously not going to tell him, so Thomas was just going to have to do his best.

Thomas began to shower James in gifts again, hoping to make him smile. This time, maybe not so extravagant.

A t-shirt with his favourite food on it left on James’ couch when Thomas came to visit. A small keychain with his name slipped into James’ bag. A coupon for his favourite bookstore slipped between the pages of the book he was reading.

Thomas knew James noticed them because James once came to a date wearing the t-shirt that Thomas bought him. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t smile, but his eyes twinkled above the weight that they carried.

The keychain was fastened onto James’ bag. New books appeared around his house from his favourite bookstore.

Still, James didn’t smile.

Thomas worried for James. He really did.

Thomas even hired a professional spy to watch James and report to him if James was going through any hardships of his own.

James wasn’t.

So why were his eyes shaded by shadows and his expression never changing?

Thomas invited himself into James’ apartment one evening and collapsed on the couch. He had the key and he knew James had one more lesson before he ended for the day.

He was just so tired. His efforts to figure out what was going on with James were not working. His business was not doing well because he had neglected it for quite a while.

“Urgh,” Thomas groaned aloud, rolling over on the sofa.

The door suddenly clicked unlock and footsteps shuffled in. James was home early today. Thomas closed his eyes, wondering what James might do if he thought Thomas was asleep. Maybe this was the way he was going to find out James’ secret.

James’ footsteps paused beside the couch and Thomas guessed James must have seen his ‘sleeping’ figure. There was a soft thump as James dumped his bag on the floor, then a weight on the couch beside him as James sat down.

He didn’t try to shake Thomas awake. Instead, James took Thomas’ hand and breathed in deeply, audibly. Thomas was careful to keep his arm wobbly and asleep-like.

As James’ grip on his hand tightened, Thomas found himself relaxing on the couch. His limbs really became laxed for a moment and all of his worries- of the company, of James- seemed to seep away.

Focusing on just that feeling, Thomas could feel the pulse of… negativity?... being pulled through every cell of his body and flowing down his arm and out his fingertips… into James.

James was taking all of Thomas’ negativity and keeping it in himself.

This wasn’t what ‘soulmates sharing emotions’ meant.

Thomas sat up straight, startling James, who jumped a little.

“What are you doing?” Thomas asked sharply, staring down at his hand.

“Uh, I was going to wake you, but I guess you’re awake,” James offered quickly.

“You were… pulling the sadness out of me and into you,” Thomas pointed out.

James shook his head but his guilty eyes said otherwise.

Thomas gripped his arm.

“That’s why you never smile. You’re burdened with enough negativity for two people,” Thomas quickly connected the dots. “You always wanted me to be happy so you carried all my sadness and anger and frustrations in yourself instead.”

“No,” James whimpered his denial.

“How did you even do it?” Thomas tightened his grip on James’ arm.

“I’m an empath,” James whispered, “I read and am affected by emotions. I can manipulate emotions by adjusting the level of emotions in one person. So to make you happy, I reduce your sadness. But that sadness has to go somewhere…”

Tears burned the corners of Thomas’ eyes.

“That’s not how relationships work, James, you’re not supposed to sacrifice yourself for me!” Thomas couldn’t stop his rising voice, couldn’t stop his shaking hand gripping James’ arm tightly. “That’s not how soulmates work! We’re supposed to share!”

James raised a hand and tried to take Thomas’ hand.

“No,” Thomas snatched his hand out of James’ reach, “you will not remove my anger. It’s not healthy for you, James. When did you last smile? Huh? When?”

Thomas’ voice reached a shrill, tears rolling down his cheeks.

James was quiet for a moment, listening to Thomas sob beside him. He was hunching over, crumbling under the pressure of Thomas’ frustration. Thomas was about to yell at him for keeping silent when James finally spoke up.

“You don’t deserve to be sad,” James whispered, his voice strangled with an effort to not cry, “when I first met you, you were so… sad, and angry, and frustrated with life. I saw you and before I even knew we were soulmates, I just wanted you to be happy. Then I looked into your eyes, and realised we were soulmates, and I just… you deserve to be happy, Thomas.”

“I am happy, James,” Thomas spluttered, raising both hands and cupping James’ cheeks, lifting his head to look at him. A single streak of tears rolled down James’ emotionless expression, the only betrayal of his true emotions. “I found you. You are all the happiness in my life. But I can’t be happy when I know that you bottle up an unhealthy amount of sadness and anger and frustration in you.”

“I want you to be happy,” James whispered.

“Then give it to me,” Thomas shook him, “let me share the burden. Give me half the negative emotions in you.”

James hesitated. Thomas let go of his cheeks and took James’ hands, intertwining their fingers as an invitation.

“Give it to me,” Thomas whispered and leaned forward to catch him in a kiss.

Nothing happened at first, then the same trickle of negativity Thomas had identified before could be felt in his veins again, this time in reverse.

The negativity rested itself in the depths of his heart. It buried itself in the emptiness of his stomach. It took a spot in the back of his mind.

The negativity was heavy, but through all that negativity was a spark. A promise. A beat of positivity.

No matter how much sadness or anger or frustration they carried between them, they would always be there to support each other. To love each other. To be there for each other. 

They pulled apart and Thomas untwined their hands and lifted his hands to wipe away the tears down James’ cheeks.

“I’m happy, James,” Thomas told him in a low voice, “Are you happy?”

James nodded in response, still sniffling.

“Can you smile for me, Jemmy?” Thomas pleaded.

James nodded again, and for the first time, his lips twitched upwards into a smile.

Thomas bursts into happy tears and wrapped James in another hug.

THE END?

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you enjoyed it?


End file.
